Guess what day it is…

“TRASH TRUCK…  FRI…FRI…FRIDAY!!” says the little man as he wakes up with the biggest smile on his face. Friday is Jackson’s favorite day because we have not 1, not 2, but 3 trash trucks that come to our house.

That smile and excitement first thing in the morning is pretty much an every morning occurrence in our house. Jackson sits up in his bed every morning requesting “Faffles”.  Faffles in our house means Waffles in other homes. Before his love for faffles, there were breakfast bars. That pure happiness first thing in the morning is something you wish you could bottle up sometimes for yourself or share with those non morning people.  Jackson has always been happy in the morning.  We were so lucky to have a happy baby that slept good at night. 

I used to be a morning person in my younger years, surviving on 4 hours of sleep ready to take on the day.  I wasn’t a Jamba Juice or Starbucks barista in your face morning person, but the morning kind that wakes up with a smile fully refreshed, ready for a conversation…unless I was really hung over. Hey…don’t judge…you were there once too.  When Sara and I first started our relationship I learned early on that she was NOT a morning person.  Sara took time to wake up, have some breakfast, mabye some coffee before she was ready for a conversation. I sometimes forget that until the morning snapper head reminds me.  Teeheee…I love the morning snapper head with her hair all tussled out of place.  I think it was when Jackson turned 2 and sleep started to become a struggle for him was when I started to lose my morning person self. The long nights that came often of me walking him up and down the hallway facing away from me and then working in front of a computer all day started to take its toll. I think when my morning self completely left my body was when Jackson started having seizures at night. I developed a sleep with one eye open with awareness technique and that morning person was forever lost.   

Even with a bright cheery 5 year old first thing in the morning, it is hard for me to find the joy in getting out of bed, but I do look forward to the mornings he wakes up before I leave for work. That means I get a good send off with a sticky kiss followed up with, “WUV OOOHHH, DAY.”  Translation: I love you, have a nice day. 

Happy Trash Truck Friday everyone….

Nana's home...

I recently started a new project at work that is sucking my brain cells completely out of my head by the end of each day.  I sit on a Bridgeline all day assisting contracted field technicians through upgrading laptops for the top producers of the company.  My team wrote a script an app that backs up copies all the producers’ data (documents, pictures, settings…) and restores all the data to the new laptop. I wrote the document outlining every step from running the script app to get the data, unplugging the old equipment, and plugging in the new equipment with pictures to help them get through it all. The document is very basic, written so any audience should be able to follow it or at least I thought it was.  We used this same documented process for the previous project in which we migrated 30,000 plus machines, I just updated some of the pictures.  Unfortunately the document is not fool proof from some of these techs and at times makes me question my abilities in technical document writing.  I walk the field tech through each step reading them word for word off the document they have right in front of them. Apparently it makes more sense when they hear my voice reading aloud to them then when they read the words off the paper themselves.  It’s not fun like reading Pete the Cat books to Jackson while singing and do fun cartoon like voices, it more like reading a TV instruction manual over and over.  That gets real old having to it multiple times throughout the day.  Then you throw in the fact that these field techs can’t plug in displays, USB devices, or the power adapter without guidance. WOW!  It’s a head scratcher to me how some of these techs are qualified for this job. By the end of the day my brain is complete mush…add in the extreme traffic all the way home I am more gone than a very dead zombie.

I pull into the garage, turn off the car, and sit for a brief moment taking multiple deep breaths before entering the house.  I definitely don’t want to take this rough day into my loving home and I wish this nagging headache would just go the <insert expletive here> away. While entering the key into the door I can hear the dogs going crazy as their toenails tippy-tap on the floor.  I can also hear Jackson jumping up and down.  I open the door, the dogs are right at my feet making it nearly impossible to walk in.  Jackson is jumping up and down, flapping his hands, then falling to the ground. 

“NANA HOME, NANA HOME….eeeeeee….NANA HOME” Jackson says. “NANA HOME, NANA HOME….NNNEEEEE….” If I don’t respond soon, Jackson’s will get stuck in this pattern like a broken record. 

“Yes Jackson, nana is home...  are you ready for a hug?”

Jackson starts to stand up “NANA HOME, YES! HAPPY…” hands are flapping as he starts to jump up and down.  This…this right here makes that long day at work seem like a thing of the distant past and it jolts me awake from my zombie like funk.  

“Are you ready for a hug?” I ask once more.  The jumping stops and his arms reach up for me.  He’s ready.  I quickly pick him up, I squeeze tightly as he puts his arms around my neck and lets go just as fast.  “Kiss” I say.  He quickly leans towards my face; I get one quick kiss in, and set him down fast. If I hold on too long, I get a head butt to the lip.  I treasure these quick moments, they are the best part of my day. “Can Nana take the dogs out now?” I ask.

“Nnneeeee…YES!” Jackson responds with hands flapping rapidly just before he takes off sprinting towards the living room. 

Nana’s home….

Sweet joy, I love my boy..

We put our house up on the market the first week of April.  We love our house, but the school district is not suited for Jackson’s needs.  Otherwise we would live there forever as it is located in the middle of both our parents.  Last week we lowered our price because we haven’t had one showing.  An hour after lowering the price we got our first bite and someone came to look at our beautiful home.  We had less than 24 hours to make our house perfect and sparkley, as everyone knows that hardest part of homeownership with a toddler is keeping it spick and span.  I rushed home from work on Thursday and started right away.   Jackson is at grandma’s house until Sara is off work, so I didn’t have much solo time.  I tried to get as many of the jobs that only I can do completed when Sara and Jackson got home.  Sara had already cleaned the kitchen earlier that day and thought it was best for us to go out to dinner.   I was craving BBQ so we headed to Bandanas.

  

Jackson was so good at dinner.  He loves going out in public and we usually don’t have any issues when food is involved, that is as long as we warn our waiting service about his awesome ability to clear the table.  Since our mind was racing on what we needed to get completed at the house, we totally forgot to warn our waitress.  When she brought our drinks to the table Sara was trying to get the words out, but it was too late.  As the waitress went to set Jackson’s milk down he hit it right out of her hand.  It was totally like one of those slow motion scenes in the movies where the lead character is saying, “Nnnnnnnoooooooooo”.  Somehow Sara caught the cup in midflight. 

The waitress said, “Nice catch” as we all laughed. 

Sara was then able to say, “Sorry, I meant to warn you about his anxiety and he likes to grab and swipe things”.

The waitress responded, “No problem, let me grab a warsh rag”.  I was impressed with her reaction to everything as thought it was no big deal.  Oh and it we were at Bandanas so southern slang is expected.

When our food arrived our waitress made sure to keep her distance and did not deliver any of the food over Jackson’s head.  Jackson ate off our plates like a champ, so we had no left overs for once.  He loves BBQ pork, french fries, and fried okra.  Yup, he is my son.

   

Sara stayed up late to do some cleaning and organizing for the next day.  Jackson had ABA therapy, which allotted her extra time. Jackson also had a speech evaluation and Sara said it went really well.  The speech therapist says Jackson has lots of words him, so that is very exciting news.

The house showing on Friday was right at the time I would typically get home from work, so we hung out at Sara’s parents before my early softball game.  Sara brought Jackson to the game.  My team was thrilled to see him even though he was on the move the entire time.  He enjoyed running in the outfield, he even jumped on 3^rd base.  I was surprised he lasted as long as he did there with no playground.  Our game only lasted about 30 minutes though sad to say.  We got short gamed.   This year the team decided we needed to join a more competitive league and we definitely found one.  We are currently 1 and 3; every game has been close within a few runs with the exception of this last one.  Julz, one of my teammates, joked, “Why is it we got old we so decided to play more competitive, shouldn’t it be the other way around… I mean really, wasn’t our team name a few years ago A.A.R.P.?”

Jackson made friends with all the ladies.  Jackson played a game of boo with my friend, Michelle a.k.a Double D (which stands for daisy dukes), for at least 15 minutes.  She was in love with his contagious laugh.  Sara and Jackson left shortly after our game so I could spend some time with my team and have some beers.  I love my lady time, I have played with these gals for just over 10 years.  My team name is “Here for Beer” which is suiting. Carol had me laughing so hard that the next morning I could barely sit up as though I did a million stomach crunches the night before.  Every season we pick up where we left off the year before, except our bats are rusty the first few games.

Saturday Sara, Jackson, and I went to reunion BBQ with my college softball team.  Sara and I were both really worried about Jackson not engaging with the other kids, or worse pulling their hair.  When we first arrived I warned all the parents that Jackson might pull their kids hair.  To my surprise all the moms were accepting.  Arnie even responded, “They are kids... Mine will probably pull back”.  The good news is we didn’t have to pry Jackson off any of the pretty little girls with long blonde hair, there were 4 of them.  Jackson had an absolute blast.  He was mostly focused on the playground and his new game of taking his shoes off at the top of the slide and letting them go down first. Only 4 of my teammates showed up with their families, a few had to cancel at the last minute.  Teri came to down from Kansas City and I was glad because we graduated together and haven’t seen her since.  We had plenty of food to go around and plenty of good conversation.  It is funny that after over 10 years everyone is exactly the same way I remember them. 

Teri, Karen (V-Dog), Andie, Me, Jami (Arnie)

Sara and I divided and conquered taking turns chasing Jackson around.  He is one busy child.  I was worried about him getting overheated.  After everyone ate and bellies were settled, Arnie and her husband filled up a bucket/tote/plastic-ma-bob-thing (I don’t know what the heck you call it plus it was pink, I don’t own anything pink) full of water. Then they let all the kids pick out a water blaster and all of them participated in getting soaked.  Jackson was so excited, he needed assistance with his blaster and he was making his fragile x sound, “Eennnneeeewwwww”.  I was worried the other kids would stare at him or ask why he was making that noise, but they didn’t even flinch.  Everyone near the water bucket was fair game, so I got soaked myself.  All of the kids were having so much fun, I can still hear them all laughing.  Jackson didn’t squirt any of the other kids, he just liked getting squirted.  After the water game Jackson was getting fussy, so we left early to avoid any major melt downs.   Just before leaving the girls decided that we were going to try to get together more often. We even discussed taking a road trip to Kansas City for old time sake and to visit with Teri.

Arnie and I are getting soaked as we help the kids.

Mmmmm....CORN

Sunday was another great day.  Sara’s brother is in town from L.A. so her family planned a dinner.  Jackson ate corn from the cob and even did well holding it by himself.  We got real excited for him; he loves that positive attention although it doesn’t last long before he is throwing the cob across the table.  We also got to watch SNL with Mick Jagger.  It is always great to catch up with Sara’s brother, especially hearing how his shows are going.  How many Elvis Clowns do you know?  The shows are entertaining to say the least.

So even though we had an extremely busy weekend it was amazing and Jackson did so well through all of it.  I am so over joyed even though our showing didn’t make us an offer.   

I’ve caught the Holiday Spirit bug

I haven’t been giving myself much time to blog these days and it has almost been a month since my last post. To be honest, I have been in funk.  The season change from Fall to Winter gets me every year.  It is dark when I leave for work and it is dark when I get home from work.  Usually when I sit in front of the computer to write a blog it comes out easily, but the last few times I ended up just staring at a blank Word document with the flashing cursor blinking at me.  Feeling uninspired even though my son gives me plenty to be inspired about each and every day.  I have just felt..  Meh..  but all that has changed after this past weekend..

First before I get to what has inspired me to get back to my blog….I want to rewind back to Thanksgiving.  The past few years we have been trying to find a happy medium for the Holidays by trying to figure out the best way to celebrate with both of our families.  Sara and I are both very fortunate that both our families live within less than 20 minutes.  The past few years for Thanksgiving we have either split the day between the two different families, celebrated at one families house on Turkey day and then the other families the next day, and we have also given hosting a try by having both families come to our house and enjoy having everyone together.  Sadly none of these three things have worked out so well and have been very stressful on the both of us.  This year we went with a different approach all together, we hosted just dessert. 

Thanksgiving Dinner

We cooked a meal for just the three of us which consisted of a Smoked Cajun Maple glazed turkey breast, sautéed green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted squash with apples and cranberries, and croissants.  If you mouth isn’t watering yet…here is a picture to get those salivary glands a pumping.  After we enjoyed our meal, we had time to relax before both our families showed up with many different desserts to share.  Sara’s dad made homemade apple pie, my mom made chocolate cake with cherries and whipped cream on top, my sister made pumpkin cheesecake bars, my sister-in-law made chocolate cherry cake with chocolate icing, and we supplied a pumpkin pie and my homemade oatmeal cookies. It was a wonderful dessert table to say the least.  Sara and I took turns with entertaining Jackson.  He was super excited to see his cousins Owen and Andrew. Jackson also loves to see his GG, my grandma.  Our house isn’t that big, but we managed to get everyone in and hopefully comfortable.  My brother Alex was not able to attend because he works for Wal-Mart and had to prepare for Black Friday. Jackson had a tendency of getting too close to Owen from time to time and he had a few hair pulling incidents. Other than that we had a wonderful evening and for the amount of people in our house Jackson did very well. It was a wonderful day all around.  

Jackson's new recliner

We did some black Friday shopping at some furniture stores.  Sara finally broke down and said I could have a recliner.   Oddly Jackson does well in all stores accept furniture stores.  I haven’t figured out if that is due to the lighting, the annoying sales people, or the fact that these stores are not stroller friendly.  I am sure he picks up on my anxiety in these stores as well.  After a few stops, we opted to wait until we could discuss what we truly wanted and we were home by lunch time.  Jackson fought taking a nap and got into his restless period.  So Sara called her mom to see if she would watch him for a little bit while we gave a few more furniture stores a try.  All I wanted in my recliner was brown, easy spill maintenance (fake leather or microfiber), rocking, and soft hug-me comfort.  Sara wanted a chaise rocker. We went to Ashley first, then Weekends Only.  I really hate going into Weekends Only, those sales people are like evil vultures.  Last time we were their this guy stalked us, we told him we were just looking, and when we were ready to buy something he wasn’t any where in sight so we found someone who was available and not creepy.  This creepy guy’s sonar went off from across the showroom floor as the sales woman was filling out our paperwork he came from out of nowhere and started yelling at her about stealing his customer right in front of us.  We made mention of how inappropriate and unprofessional he was from the beginning as we were filling out paper work. He continued to get irate in front of his manager.  So I get super nervous every time I go in that store.   Luckily this time it was crowded and the customer to sales associate ratio was 5 customers to 1 sales person.  The selection of recliners was 4 times that of Ashley.   Then there it was… a brown, microfiber, hugging, rocking, chaise recliner.  It was love at first sit.  Sara gave it a try, it was heavenly.  It took awhile, but we were able to find a sales associate and it was meant to be, only one left in the warehouse besides the floor model.  A quick call to Sara’s dad to see if we could borrow the truck and it was purchased, picked up, and hauled up the stairs in our home.  I was so proud of Sara for helping me get it nestled into it’s spot.  Not only do I love the chair, but Jackson loves it too.  He watches his Mickey Mouse Club House while rocking back in forth for 30 minutes or more.  It has been a wonderful addition to the family.  The rest of the weekend we were all so exhausted.  Jackson is finally over the day light savings hump and sleeping his normal schedule.  We even got a family nap in on Sunday. 

Jackson enjoying the stage

This past week has been full of events.  Tuesday night we went to have milk and cookies with Santa hosted by TouchPoint.  We went last year shortly following Jackson’s diagnosis of PDD-NOS. The event has face painting, a comic magician, a balloon animal/character artist, Christmas carolers, plenty of milk and cookies, and Santa.  Last year we had melt down issues when waiting in line for Santa, but we managed to get Jackson on his lap.  This year we knew it would be difficult.  We brought the portable DVD player loaded with Mickey Mouse Club House and plenty of Jackson’s favorite treats.  We were early this year hoping to get a good jump in line, only this year as we got in line they changed it and decided to call the children up by table.  So we went from 4^th in line, to back at our table waiting patiently.  The line kept getting longer and they stopped calling tables at some point. There was little boy at our table that was having some major sensory issues and his mom was doing such an amazing job calming him.  We asked him if he wanted to share the Mickey Mouse Club House movie, but he wasn’t very interested in that.  He was much older than Jackson, so maybe not his cup of tea.  His mom sat with him like we did with Jackson as his dad took his sisters to the line.  I thought I would take Jackson over to the open area and let him run, but he was obsessed with the stage that was set up that had pre-decorated theme Christmas trees for the Autism fundraiser which was the next day.  I let him go up and down the stairs, but feared him bolting to one the trees and knocking it over. A volunteer came over to say hi to us.  She was in love with Jackson.  Come to find out she works in the play room at TouchPoint and started working a few weeks after we went through the parent training program. Jackson was pulling my hair a lot while we were talking.   The volunteer leaned in too close to Jackson and he swiped off her glasses.  As I was saying sorry she said not to worry she was used to that.  It is nice to be able to go out in public and not have to worry about explaining that your son has some impulsive behaviors.  Sara came over to us and we took him to mingle with some of the other kids.  He wasn’t interested in them, but the DVD player was working well.  We went back to the table and I left for a few moments to go get some more cookies.  When I came back, Jackson was pulling Sara’s hair and a volunteer was helping her.  Jackson did not like that I walked away from the table.  The volunteer was able help free Sara’s hair from his hands.  As Sara was thanking the volunteer Sara said, “I don’t think we are going to be able to make it to see Santa.”  With that the volunteer walked away and returned with a gift for Jackson. I almost cried.  He got a Teddy Bear that when you squeeze the hand the cheeks and belly light up.  He loved it and started giving it kisses right way.  He was getting really tired, so we left the event shortly after.  Hair pulling aside, Jackson was all smiles and seemed to really enjoy the event, we did too.

Friday night we went to a fundraiser “Holiday Lights of Love Gala” hosted by Action for Autism featuring special holiday performances by the children of Howard Park Center (Jackson’s school) and the American School.  The world-renowned artist Jesse Barnes was at the event and auctioned off several of his amazing paintings.  There were raffles and silent auctions throughout the event.  The night started off with the children performing before dinner was served.  I brought my video camera hoping to be able capture Jackson’s theatrical debut.  Since Jackson was performing, we received free tickets, so our table was at the back of the room, but that just meant I could stand and film.  All I can say is that Jackson completely stole the show.  His little learners class, which consists 2 year olds of half typical and half with special needs, was by far the cutest of the evening.  I wish I would have had my Tripod, so I apologize for my amateur shaky video.  I am also upset that in the middle of the performance the camera picked up on something else to focus on besides the children, but I was able to get it back in a few seconds.  All of the other video I took that night did not have the blur out problem, so I blame the Hamilton Black Cloud of luck.  Either way I was able to capture some amazing footage.  Jackson was not intimidated by the 100 plus people staring up at the stage.  He shook his bells without throwing them, well until it was over at least.  He smiled, he laughed, he danced, and most importantly he truly had a blast. He even made the crowd giggle at one point.  Jackson absolutely loved the stage.  Not that it makes any difference, but all the children that were on stage with Jackson were his typical peers, he was the only one with special needs.  Jackson did so well and I couldn't be more proud.  When all the performances were finished all the children handed out ornaments they made in class to all the attendees.  Jackson’s teacher stopped by our table with him in tote and he could care less that we were there.  He was trying to get her to take him back to the stage.  It warms my heart to see my son taking after his mother’s love for the stage and theater arts. Until Friday night, I was not ready for Christmas at all, but Jackson has definitely put me in the spirit.

A weekend full of events..

I took Friday off to have my car worked on and it worked out perfect as we were meeting up with friends to have drinks and watch the Cardinals play game 2 of the World Series.   Sara’s mom watched Jackson for us and he stayed the night, so that meant we would get a chance to sleep in.  Even though the Cardinals lost, the game was good and it was nice to catch up on some us time with friends.  Since Jackson is an earlier riser my internal alarm clock goes off every morning even when my actual alarm clock is not set.  So I was awake at 4:45 AM naturally and it took me just over an hour to fall back asleep.  Does everyone do this?  Then when grandma called to let us know she was on her way at 7:30 AM it scared the bejeebus out of me.  I was not ready to get out bed that is for sure.  Jackson had ABA in the morning and later in the afternoon, so after his morning session we went to the mall.  Jackson was great at the mall, rode along in his stroller with no melt downs.  He didn’t want to get back in his car seat though for the ride home.  This is common when he has been from car, to stroller, back to car.  Luckily we grabbed Auntie Anne’s pretzels on our way out of the mall and it helped us coax Jackson into his seat.  He also took a cat nap on the way home. 

Jackson’s afternoon ABA session we could take the therapist with us for an outing.  I don’t usually get to experience this because I am at work all day, but I think it is awesome the therapists go with us to help us if Jackson is having a behavior.   Sara wanted to go the pumpkin patch out by our house and since it was during the afternoon on a Friday I figured it wouldn’t be too crowded.  We found front row parking which was great and there was hardly anyone there.  The pumpkin patch has a huge playground area.  They have a cornstalk maze, wooden characters with the faces cut out so you can stick your head/face through, slides, and climbing walls.  Jackson was excited for slide.  He is getting really good at landing on his feet and standing up at the end when he goes down.  We found an empty wagon and Jackson sat right in it as I pulled him to the patch.  I think he really enjoyed riding the wagon along the gravel road, I am sure it was like sitting in a massage chair. When we got the patch there were a lot pumpkins still there to my amazement with Halloween being a little over a week away.  We didn’t see any pumpkins in the patch that we liked, so we headed to the already picked and priced pumpkins.  Sara found 3 awesome pumpkins while I entertained Jackson who was having a meltdown.  Jackson wanted to run down the very big concrete slope that leads down to the playground.  I tried to calm him by putting him on my shoulders which always has worked in the past.  That just ended in throwing my sunglasses, yanking off my hat, and pulling my hair.  I finally freed his both of his hands which were not easy to do while he was on my shoulders and got him down; he threw himself on the ground.  I am sure Jackson was able to read my frustration because then he started crying.  I don’t think anyone saw this melt down as it took me awhile to get anyone’s attention to come help me.  By the time Sara reached us, Jackson calmed down a little bit enough and I was able to pick him up so we could pay for our pumpkins and leave.  Trying to get him in the car was not an easy task either. It was also a bad ride home because Jackson kept putting his fingers down this throat.  I was able to get him to stop by telling him hands ready and luckily it was a short ride home.

Saturday is my flag football day where I go watch my team, Mich Light, play.  I retried several years ago, but love watching the games.  Plus my team is like a close nit family and I always have so much fun during and after the games.  Last weekend I brought Jackson with me since Sara volunteered to work the Fragile X booth at the Autism walk.  The team couldn’t believe how big Jackson had grown since last season.  Since my car was in the shop this weekend, Sara and Jackson had to chauffeur me to the game so they wouldn’t be without a car in case of an emergency.  Sara also needed to return something in the city, so Jackson and I watched the 2^nd half of the 1^st game together.  Well sort of, we really didn’t get to watch, it was more like me chasing him along the side lines and everyone saying how cute he is.  He is shy for the first 5 or 10 minutes and then he is good to go.  He gave a few high fives, slapped Junior and Trishie in the face (they had sunglasses on), and got some lovens from Marque.  Sara returned from her errand and contemplated staying or leaving since there was a game in-between Mich Lights next one.  These games are 45 – 50 minutes long, but we live 35 – 45 minutes away…so it didn’t really make sense for them to go home to just have to turn around and come back.  Sara took Jackson over to an open field and they played push and case, a made up game that Jackson loves to play.  He will push your butt and you either run in the direction he has you pointed, or if you are Sara you dramatically act as though you are going to face plant into the ground.  Jackson loves this game. I think it gives him some sensory input on his joints.  When he chases you around he laughs so hard and sometimes falls down, it is very adorable.  He played this with her until just before the 2^nd game started.  I could tell Jackson was just about done with being in the park and watched until half time before we said good bye to everyone.  We were all exhausted on the way home.

Getting splashed by a penguin.

Sunday was Zoo day with the Hamilton’s.  My mom wanted to get everyone together for Boo at the Zoo and perhaps lunch or dinner.  I explained to my mom beforehand that the last few times we had been to the zoo, Jackson was done after about an hour, so I suggested we all drive separate in case my nephews wanted to stay longer.  She picked a date and time to meet up, but one problem Boo at the Zoo is at night and the Saturday before. We went last year and lines were so long that we didn’t really participate in the tables or booths they had set up.  Since it wasn’t Boot at the Zoo the kids couldn’t wear their costumes, but no one seemed to be too disappointed in that.  Everyone met up at our house and followed us to the Zoo.  It was crowded and we had 3 cars to park, so it was nice walk to get in.  Luckily it was another gorgeous day.  Jackson really enjoyed the Penguin house, he got splashed by one of the penguins. When we went to leave the penguins he started pulling Sara’s hair.  

The zoo had a bunch of ghosts, pumpkins, and skeletons in trees. They also had this grave site that had funny tombstone names.  Jackson was obsessed with following his cousin Owen around; Owen on the other was not amused.  Eventually we put Jackson back into his stroller and he did well for awhile. He did start putting his figures down his throat, but we had some crunchy snacks on hand that deterred that.  Andrew really wanted to see the tigers, so we headed to Big Cat Country.  It was around that time Jackson was done with the stroller and with the zoo.  I told my mom and sister-in-law that we had to go and if they wanted to stay they could, but it seemed everyone was hungry and ready to eat. So we headed back to the car.  This is when I wish we had the ability to teleport because we had 15 people in our group and not everyone understands that when Jackson is done, we have to high tail it. Jackson was getting frustrated and he was slamming himself back and forth in his stroller.  If we took him out of the stroller he took off running and when you tried to get him to go the direction you wanted or hold his hand, he melted like a wet noodle.  If you picked him up, hair pulling and head banging into your head or face was the next behavior.  There are only so many snacks you can give him before he is over that too.  As long as Sara was moving the stroller, he seemed to be doing OK. We also took off his Pujos jersey because it was getting warm. Since we have been to the zoo more than the rest of the crew and knew our way out I had Sara go ahead with the front of the group and I rallied up the back of the group.  We made it out of the zoo and to the cars in one piece. 

Jackson took a quick cat nap in the car while we drove over to Fitz’s.  It wasn’t very crowded there with it being late in the afternoon and they were bottling soda, so my nephews got to see that.  They took our large crowd upstairs.  It was really hot up stairs though. There were several TV’s playing the Rams game and some videos games for the boys to play.  Jackson was doing really well until poopy diaper time.  There were no changing tables upstairs, so we had to take him to the downstairs restroom.  The stairwell there is very long, high, and steel like the kind from a fire escape, not ideal for Jackson.  I picked him up and he did not like that and head butted me, but we hurried down the stairs.  After we got him changed, I had to use the restroom myself, so Sara took him back up.  Jackson did not want to go back into the highchair, so by the time I got up there I could Sara was really upset.  She was redoing her ponytail.  My mom came down from the other end of the table to talk to us and said if one of us kids would have ever pulled her hair like that, she would be in tears.  She told Sara she was amazed at how she handled it.  If it were her she would have pulled the child’s hair back.  I tried to explain to my mom that is the old way of disciplining and with Jackson that would not work.  Then our food was there, so we would have to discuss that topic another time.

After meal time the boys were running around and we let Jackson out, he of course wanted to go back to the suicide stairs.  So I had to keep him corralled in the area where we were.  If he wasn’t trying to make it over to the stairs he was chasing his cousin around.  Owen is only 7 and it is hard to explain to him why Jackson keeps getting so close and why Jackson won’t leave him alone.  Jackson is almost as tall as Owen and we were back at the table when Owen looked at Jackson and Jackson smacked him in the face.  Luckily it wasn’t hard and my sister-in-law told Owen not to worry about that, then not a minute later Jackson smacks him again this time hard enough to bring Owen to tears. I redirect Jackson away. Sara and my sister-in-law talk with Owen. Owen is really upset and doesn’t understand. I think Sara did an amazing job and explaining to Owen that when Jackson gets really excited he don’t know how to express it, that he wasn’t trying to hurt Owen.  I think Owen accepted that, at least until the next visit.  Everyone settled their bills and we were all heading home.  Jackson did not want to go in his car seat, but once we got him in everything was fine.  Sara sat back with him on the ride home.  I think the Fitz’s environment was not ideal for Jackson, but all things considering he did a really good job.  I think I zoned out most the way home because I don’t remember too much of that. 

Grand Master Flash

Jackson has been working so hard in his therapy sessions and since I am at work during the times he is receiving him, I sometimes feel I miss out a little on his accomplishments.  Sara tells me about the big ones and will show me them when I get home. Yesterday Sara showed me how he can get up in his car seat all by himself and when we got to the store he got out all by himself.  That was really cool.  They are also working on him getting on and off the potty.  He isn’t potty trained yet, but the entire house knows when number 2 is about to happen, so Sara has been really good at getting him to the potty for that since he turned 2. No pun attended.

This past weekend Jackson and I got some just the two of us time together and he was obsessing over these flash cards he has. I let him get them out and he was a little frustrated because I didn’t pick up that he wanted me to play Flash cards with him.  It has been awhile since I was home for a therapy session, but I remember him playing match with one of the therapist.  So I set 4 different cards in front of him and had him match the identical card with the one on the floor.  He got it right every time.  I was so excited. The last time I seen him, he wasn’t that accurate.  We played match for an hour. 

The other day I was telling Sara about this when we were all downstairs. She said, “Oh…did you use the cards in his box?”  Jackson has this huge storage container that has a bunch of toys, puzzles, and other skill type items that all the therapists’ use with him.  I said, “There are cards in his box? I didn’t know that, we just used the ones out of his toy bin. Why?”  With that, Sara opened the bin and grabbed a big stack of flash cards.  She laid out just 4 in front of him; unlike how I did where I let him dump the entire box of cards out and spread them all over. LOL!  Then she grabbed a card that had the same object on it, but it was different, like from a different box of flash cards.  A few examples, one was small yellow ball of yarn and its match was a big multi colored ball of yarn, one was a baseball and its match was a beach ball,  one was a Queen and her match was a King.  Holy crap! My son is so freaking smart.  I don’t know if two and half year typical developing children can do that, or if that is what he is supposed to be able to do at this age, but either way I wanted a bumper sticker that said “My kid is smarter than your kid”.  The cutest part of the game, every time Sara handed him a card to match…he would study it by turning it around and around a few times. When he matched it, he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face waiting for you to applaud. Believe me I did.

I discovered another awesome trick on my own the other night.  Since Jackson was about 4 or 5 months I would make him turn off the lights when we would walk by them. It didn’t take him long to master this, and when we were taking him to the doctors and they would ask us if Jackson does anything on his own, I would proudly puff my chest up and say, “He can turn of the lights if you hold him by the switch.”  That would always get discredited though because they felt that was a routine task since I had him do it every time we left the room.  Either way, if I am carrying him by a switch, I still make him turn it off.  The other night I was taking him to bed; he was more ready than I knew at the time.  He walked down the hallway; I turned on the light, turned on his Baby Einstein CD, and turned on his turtle that projects stars on the ceiling. Jackson was standing by the doorway and I went to get him when the lights went out.  I thought, wait…did the bulb go out again? Did I accidently brush up against the switch? How the heck did that happen?  So I turned them back on.  Jackson fussed at me and reached up and turned them off.  In disbelief, I turned them on again and ask him to turn off the lights.  Voila off he turned them.  A few days later we were all in Jackson’s room and I asked Sara, “Have the therapists been working on Jackson turning off lights?” Sara looked at me funny and said, “Um…no, why?” I strutted over to the switch and said, “Hey Jackson, show mama how you turn off the lights.”  Jackson got all excited, ran over, reached up, and turned out the lights. I turned them back on and said, “Do it again, please”.  He humored me and turned them off.  So Sara came over and said, “Jackson, can you turn the lights on?”  He had a little trouble with it at first, but he turned them on.  Then we couldn’t get him away from the switch for awhile and Jackson‘s room looked like a club without the thumpa-thumpa music. You know I was dancing along with the flashing lights in my mind.     

Ah-Da…

I enjoy leaving work every day; mostly because when I get home from work I am greeted by two dogs, Sara, and Jackson.  We are fortunate to have a two car garage and as soon as it starts to open Jackson is at the window jumping up and down. It has taken a long time for him learn how to jump and down, and he doesn’t have the best balance when he does this, but man it is so much fun to watch. When I open the door and come into the house, Jackson will run up to me, grab my laptop backpack, pull it off of me and then take off running. Sometimes he uses his upset voice when he does this, I am not sure if he equates the backpack as me leaving like I do in the morning.  He runs a few feet away and then takes off running toward me all excited.  I scoop him up and he gives me kisses, and then right away he wants down.  Lately he tries to throw himself backwards when I pick him up so he can hang upside down, a neat trick he learned from his Aunt Tricia. I make him give me a kiss before I let him go upside down. He just laughs so hard when we do this; it is a highly contagious laugh.  One thing for certain is you have to be very prepared for him to throw himself backward because it is sudden and he is strong.  A few times I have come home and he is in the middle of one of his therapy sessions, his therapists are tickled when they see this interaction. 

Once I am home, changed, and settled we all go for a walk, or sometimes Jackson and I will play catch on the stairs.  I have been tossing a ball at Jackson since he was in his jumpy contraption, so he can catch several different types of balls in various sizes.  I have tried to put a ball glove on his hand, but no luck with that just yet. Jackson has a few of those large bounce balls that are sold in cages at any store.  Our house is a raised a ranch and the stairs are split in two levels.  Jackson will stand or sit in the middle while I stand at the bottom to toss the ball up to him; he catches it most of the time. He likes to roll the ball down the railing, which isn’t easy because the ball is so big and railing is so skinny, but sometimes he gets it just right. He has also mastered a new skill which is balancing the ball on the railing, rolling it backwards, and getting it stuck between the entry way ceiling and the rail.  Since the first time he did this, I gave him a huge reaction with my arms up in the air while shouting “Ta-da”.  Jackson will then laugh and punch the ball out from being stuck. I am not kidding when I say we play this game every day.  Before I throw the ball up, I make him tell me ball. He will use sign language and now verbally say “Ball”.   Sure most people fight over when and what their child’s first word was “Mama” or “Dada” and I have seen some hard core arguments and fights over it and I will always think that is the most ridiculous debate.  One of my son’s first words was “Ball” and I couldn’t be more proud. How awesome is that!  Oh…and now he is trying to say “Ta-da”, it is more like “Ah-da” and it is high pitched which sends the dogs running, but you will never see me cover my ears.  

Japanese Festival with Fragile X (times two)

Over the Labor Day weekend the Japanese Festival was in town at the Missouri Botanical Gardens. Sara and I haven’t been since she was pregnant and we had a lot of fun, even though it was extremely hot then. We also got to attend a tea ceremony, which we waited in the heat for a few hours to enjoy. It was a great experience to say the least. This year we have membership passes to the Botanical gardens, so it makes it cheaper for us to go to special events like this. The weather cooled off and we selected Sunday as the perfect day to go. I could tell Sara was wanting the amazing experience we had a few years ago and she was hoping to get some really great pictures…a perfect opportunity to play with our new digital SLR camera. Jackson fell asleep as we got closer to the gardens and I knew it was going to be very crowded by seeing all the full parking lots. I went straight to the main lot because earlier I had requested a close spot from the Universe and so I knew we would get one. Thank you Universe we got a really great parking spot.

It didn’t take very long to get our tickets surprisingly the lines were short, but getting into the garden I could see was going to be extremely difficult. There were so many people in the main entrance and we all know how considerate people are when you have a stroller you are trying to maneuver around. It is really difficult for me not to punch someone as they rudely pass by and while doing so they give you a look. When we got inside Sara had to use the restroom, so Jackson and I parked the stroller over in a corner. It was very loud in the building and the line for the restroom looked long. I found some goldfish to attempt to entertain Jackson as we waited for Sara to finish. I could tell he was having a hard time; it definitely had to be sensory overload for him. Eventually he started thrusting forward then slamming himself into his stroller. Sara had left her purse with cell phone in my possession, so I couldn’t just take Jackson out of there I just kept giving him goldfish and tried to get him to laugh or smile. Sara finally emerged from the restroom and once we got outside and that nice cool breeze hit Jackson in the face, he was just fine. There were tents of stuff all over the place with tons of people walking around.

We agreed that taking Jackson to an open area to run around for a little bit might help his overstimulation. We found some open space, took him out of the stroller, and got the camera ready just in case there might be opportunities for some shots. Jackson was completely focused on the stroller, for whatever reason all he wanted to push it around and do nothing else. Sara was focused on getting the perfect picture, so she too was getting overly anxious. After a little while we agreed to walk further, maybe if Jackson walked and pushed the stroller he would be ready for pictures, it was obvious that now was not the time.

There are all kinds of tents and demonstrations going on throughout the park. Around each tent are herds of people. I could sense Sara’s frustrations level rise as we pass them because Jackson is on a mission to push the stroller around and Sara is on a mission to see everything. We walked right past the guy that spins things, saw a poster for a pottery demonstration that was going to happen in 15 minutes, but we couldn't stop at them we had to keep trucking on. Then we stumbled upon a path that looked less traveled. There were no festival signs pointing down this path, so we thought we could go that way for a little while to get a break away from the crowds. Jackson was now following behind me as I pushed the stroller, every now and then I would turn back and say, “Boo!” to which he would stop and laugh hysterically. When he wasn’t laughing and he was following me doing his Fragile X sound, “Ennneewwwww”. It was very loud and very constant, which isn’t normal for Jackson to do. We only hear the Fragile X sound when he is really excited, so I thought it was great to hear him using his vocalizations. You could feel the other people staring as they passed us by and at this point and time I could care less to be honest.

The path was fairly big and very green and floral, it was a beautiful setting. There was also a neat little hut thing with two chairs and a little table. I could see myself sitting there in the morning drinking a cup of coffee as the sun rises. Sara suggests giving Jackson some food, perhaps one of his Go-Go-Squeezes. Maybe he can sit in the chair as I give him a few bites and then she can quickly snap the picture. We can each take turns to try to get in with him. Jackson somewhat went for it, but that didn’t last long. He sat up in the chair all cute, took a few sitive reinforcer.

Along this path is a small garden off to the side named the butterfly garden. Sara really wants to get a picture of her in this area because the flowers are so beautiful. So we push Jackson next to me, while I give him some pretzels and snap some pictures of Sara. We also got some great pictures of a monarch butterfly who happened to be near by, I mean were in her garden. Jackson again started to thrust himself in the stroller; it is time to move on again.


We decided to walk towards the Japanese garden, our favorite place. Along the way were some Coy fish wind socks. Sara wanted to get some pictures of that, so I told her to go ahead and Jackson and I will keep walking. Jackson seems completely fine in the stroller as long as we are walking. Uh-oh there’s a fork in the path way, to the right Japanese garden and to the left…who knows. So we go up the path a little ways, and then come back to the fork. Sara isn’t too far behind so we can do this for a little while. There was a great breeze blowing, it was keeping Jackson calm. Sara is walking towards us and then he starts thrusting back and forth again. We take him out of the stroller and he is following behind me as we walk. Sara stops a few times along the way to take some pictures and we make our way back towards the entrance.

Sara has to make a pit stop at the restroom. Jackson and I walk over to this fountain while she is gone. I am finally able to distract Jackson from the stroller with the water fountain. Sara walks up and we are able to a bunch of shots of him having a blast in the water. I am still noticing people walking by and staring at us. Makes me wonder if they are staring because I look like a boy, or if they think we are bad parents for letting our son splash in the water, or is it because he is making unfamiliar noises to them. I don’t even know why I am giving other peoples ignorance a second thought here, but seriously if you want I will glad you give you a picture of my family so you can stare at it all day long. If you are really that curious, lend me your ear so I can educate you on my family and how much love we have for one another, while I am at it….I can also expand your mind and teach you about a syndrome that so many people have never heard of. Opps….sorry…tangent, but believe me I look at myself in the mirror when I am thinking all these things, trying to remember if I have ever been a person that stared at others. I am sure there has been a time or two, but I do know that my mom taught me not to judge and in my religious days the Bible taught me the only one true judge is God himself. Even though I am not walking the Christian walk theses day, I still hold that teaching true to myself, so I guess I am at fault for expecting or hoping others hold that belief too. Anyway, after several pictures at the fountain we are able to get Jackson back in the stroller and head towards the crowded tent area.

I know this is important for Sara, so I tell her I will keep Jackson off to the side so she can look through all the tents. I knew she was really excited to see the tent with all the wall hangings. She isn’t gone too long and I can see some disappointment in her face. There is one wall hanging I can see from where we are at that gave me a huge chuckle, it is a picture of Buddha and below it is a scripture from the Bible. I am guessing this is the cause of the disappointment, and I am right. HA! We got a good laugh out of it as we headed towards the food area. I pulled Jackson over off to the side because the tent with tables was so overly crowded and I knew it would be bad for us to go in there. We agreed to use the tag team method on getting food. Sara went and found something, came back to us. While she was gone I was feeding Jackson a peanut butter and strawberry uncrustable. He was half way through it when he started to put his fingers down this throat. I guess too many snacks before sandwich = belly ache. I diverted his hands quickly, but in the process got chewed up PB&J all over my hands as well as Jackson’s. Sara had walked up around that time and luckily had extra napkins. We quickly get cleaned up and Sara hands me the money and tells me to go on and get my food. Then Sara is freaked out about sitting the grass, wondering if it is wet or if bugs will crawl on her. I am worried that as soon as I walk away things will become disastrous and Jackson will stick his fingers down his throat more and throw up, so I chose to walk Jackson around the area in his stroller. He was getting super fussy and by this time my patients is maxed out. Sara was still eating and I asked her she could bring it to the car so we could load up and go. She agreed that was a great idea and to the car we headed.

We took Jackson’s wet clothes off and got him in the car. Sara sat back there with him as I drove us home. Once we were in the car, he was completely fine the entire way home. Sara was finishing up her dinner when her fork snapped in half, I think some food got flung around in the back seat and all I could do was laugh hysterically. I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. When we got home I needed some time to myself. I went to the refrigerator and had one of those moments where nothing we had was good enough and I didn’t feel like making anything either. I hopped back into the car and got something to eat. I almost had a melt down at the drive thru moron who repeated everything back to me wrong. My dad always complained about this issue and claimed it to be the curse of the Hamilton black cloud. Luckily for the drive thru guy the food in the bag was right. The quick drive was just enough for me to calm down, when I got home I shared my vittles with my little man and lovely wife.

Man, what a day!

These are a few of his favorite things…

I am happy to report that Jackson has been doing much better on his new medicine, Trazodone. He has been on it for a little over a week and so far it has helped him get sleep and sleep throughout the evening.  We have also noticed it help prevent the constant head banging, although he will still bang his head on occasion usually when he isn’t getting his way. The other things we noticed are he is back to his happy morning self, his appetite is back, and he isn’t crabby all day.   His therapists have noticed a difference too, he is more focused during his sessions. Today is National Fragile X awareness day so I thought I would take this time to share some of Jackson’s favorite things.

Jackson loves to play catch with me on the stairs.  I have been throwing a ball at him since he was able to hold himself up in his bouncy contraption. He is starting to get really good at catching. We have all kinds of various balls for him, his favorite lights up as it bounces. He will sit at the top of stairs and toss the ball down to me. His loves to watch the ball bounce on each step to which I make silly sound effect noises. Then I toss the ball back up to him.  It is so fun to watch.

Jackson also loves to watch Mickey Mouse Club House and Baby Einstein.  They are on forever repeat in our house, even though he might only watch 10 -15 minutes at a time.  He has always loved the Hot Dog song and dance, to which he recently started dancing along to.  With the Baby Einstein videos his favorite toys to watch are the toys with balls or any spinny things.  Recently he started noticing the wind up robots and when they are on he starts walking around like them. He also loves it when any of the Einstein kids are on. He just loves people…

Jackson is a huge fan of the swing. We installed a bar in his doorway to his bedroom several months ago and when he seems to be having a hard time swinging will calm him down. Last weekend I put together an outdoor swing-set and our little man is obsessed with it. Unfortunately St. Louis has been under a heat advisory since the day I put it up and if the humidity doesn’t get to you the mosquitoes might just carry you off.  Jackson doesn’t seem to mind the heat one bit. He loves to ride in his radio flyer, stroller, or Cozy Coup. You can walk him forever in those things. The neighbors love to see him as much as he loves to see them.  He will wave and flap his hands in excitement.  When I get home from work I usually take him for a walk and sometimes after dinner. Lately with the heat we are only getting one walk in. His other outdoor favorite is the pool.  Jackson loves the water and luckily Memaw Hamilton has a big pool that we can all get in. This love for water is great because we have no problems with bath time, except for the crazy splashing. Be prepared to be soaked if you ever have to give my son a bath..

Jackson could watch you push a vacuum for hours. Lately though just pushing it around isn’t enough, he has to have it on.  He has figured out that the cord has to be plugged in, thank goodness for those plastic covers.  We bought Jackson a mini-Dyson of his own for Christmas, but he prefers if you push it and not him. He is a smart child…

Jackson likes to watch people come and go from our house. I don’t know what it is, but he loves to watch people through the window. If a car goes by and he hears it, at the window you will find him.  The neighbors across the street like coming home to see him knocking on the windows and waving away. You can see his big smile from across the street. It brings me great joy to see this every morning when I leave for work and when I come home. Speaking of cars, he has this awesome Fisher Price Speedway toy. The center of the floor spins and it has special cars that go on it. It has a ramp the cars go down into the center and the cars go around and around till they shoot through the finish line.  It is a very loud toy, but he loves it. He has perfected balancing the cars on their rear bumper while the floor is spinning. I can’t even balance them on a flat surface. 

Jackson loves music. He will pick a favorite song and want to listen to it over and over. Right now the favorite song is “If you are happy and you know it…”.  He is also a big fan of the “Farmer and the Dell” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. I am not the vocalist of the house, but since he was born I have sang him to sleep.

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm

Last night was a rough night of sleep in our house again. I was ubber crabby to say the least. It was hard to not get out the shower to finish getting ready for work, but I made it through. The best parts of my day are leaving for work and coming home. You might think that is strange to include leaving for work in that statement, but let me explain. Even though today was rough getting out of bed I am still one of those morning people.  I have always looked at mornings as a fresh start to a new day.

Sure...going to work is not my favorite thing to do, it is the send off I get that makes it so special. One of Jackson's favorite things to do is watch people leave or come. He will stand at the window, knock and bang on it, flap his hands, making his "Eeeennnneewww" sound, jump up and down, and wave. He is so excited. If the neighbors are out, he will get just as excited and wave to them. He loves to see people on the other side of the window.

This morning Jackson was really fussy, but after laying around a little bit with mamma, he seemed more his morning self. He knows when it is close to the time for me to go down the steps and drive away and he starts getting excited. Mamma and Jackson were sharing a banana at leave time, but that didn't stop him for giving me a kiss goodbye. Mmm, banana kisses. I get my kisses from everyone every morning and then down the stairs I go. As I open the garage, I can hear him banging on the window and jump'n up and down already.  I start the car, pull out, and look up...there is my son with the biggest smile on his face. I always roll down the window so I can hear him. He is waving feverishly while jumping up and down, I am waving back to him wishing I could sit in driveway until he is bored with smiling and waving at me. I need to get a picture of this, perhaps even some video.

Coming home I get the same reception.  As soon as Jackson hears the garage door open, he runs to whatever window he is closest to. The best days to see this is on Monday and Tuesday when I stop in the middle of the driveway to either take out or bring in the garbage cans. You can hear him from the driveway, "Eeeennnneeewwww!" and knock away. If he is downstairs when I open the door he runs up to me and pulls on my pants, then runs away and comes back. This goes one a for a bit before I get my welcome home kiss. If he is upstairs, he is waiting pacing back and forth at the top, arms flapping away.  He looks so happy and excited to see me. I can't even explain how good it makes me feel.  I get kisses from everyone when I come home from work every day.  When I say everyone that included the doggies. How lucky am I to have that much love under one roof!

Another thing to add about the morning drive in...  I am a huge fan of music and I am lucky to have Sirius satellite radio. It gets me going for the day and I also have a dock that allows me to listen all day at work. It is a total savior for me. When I drove away from my house this morning the first song was the Crash Test Dummies "Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm". I haven't heard that song in forever.  The line in the song that hit me and got me thinking was, "She couldn't quite explain it."  That line inspired my post today, trying to explain how lucky I am and my bubbly mood despite the limited sleep for the week. It also makes me think of the doctors, philosophers, psychologists, or therapists who can't always explain the whys or hows to the many things they discover about us humans. Or even when they have the science behind all the discoveries and still can't answer the questions.  Perhaps..."they'd just always been there....."