I’ve caught the Holiday Spirit bug

I haven’t been giving myself much time to blog these days and it has almost been a month since my last post. To be honest, I have been in funk.  The season change from Fall to Winter gets me every year.  It is dark when I leave for work and it is dark when I get home from work.  Usually when I sit in front of the computer to write a blog it comes out easily, but the last few times I ended up just staring at a blank Word document with the flashing cursor blinking at me.  Feeling uninspired even though my son gives me plenty to be inspired about each and every day.  I have just felt..  Meh..  but all that has changed after this past weekend..

First before I get to what has inspired me to get back to my blog….I want to rewind back to Thanksgiving.  The past few years we have been trying to find a happy medium for the Holidays by trying to figure out the best way to celebrate with both of our families.  Sara and I are both very fortunate that both our families live within less than 20 minutes.  The past few years for Thanksgiving we have either split the day between the two different families, celebrated at one families house on Turkey day and then the other families the next day, and we have also given hosting a try by having both families come to our house and enjoy having everyone together.  Sadly none of these three things have worked out so well and have been very stressful on the both of us.  This year we went with a different approach all together, we hosted just dessert. 

Thanksgiving Dinner

We cooked a meal for just the three of us which consisted of a Smoked Cajun Maple glazed turkey breast, sautéed green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted squash with apples and cranberries, and croissants.  If you mouth isn’t watering yet…here is a picture to get those salivary glands a pumping.  After we enjoyed our meal, we had time to relax before both our families showed up with many different desserts to share.  Sara’s dad made homemade apple pie, my mom made chocolate cake with cherries and whipped cream on top, my sister made pumpkin cheesecake bars, my sister-in-law made chocolate cherry cake with chocolate icing, and we supplied a pumpkin pie and my homemade oatmeal cookies. It was a wonderful dessert table to say the least.  Sara and I took turns with entertaining Jackson.  He was super excited to see his cousins Owen and Andrew. Jackson also loves to see his GG, my grandma.  Our house isn’t that big, but we managed to get everyone in and hopefully comfortable.  My brother Alex was not able to attend because he works for Wal-Mart and had to prepare for Black Friday. Jackson had a tendency of getting too close to Owen from time to time and he had a few hair pulling incidents. Other than that we had a wonderful evening and for the amount of people in our house Jackson did very well. It was a wonderful day all around.  

Jackson's new recliner

We did some black Friday shopping at some furniture stores.  Sara finally broke down and said I could have a recliner.   Oddly Jackson does well in all stores accept furniture stores.  I haven’t figured out if that is due to the lighting, the annoying sales people, or the fact that these stores are not stroller friendly.  I am sure he picks up on my anxiety in these stores as well.  After a few stops, we opted to wait until we could discuss what we truly wanted and we were home by lunch time.  Jackson fought taking a nap and got into his restless period.  So Sara called her mom to see if she would watch him for a little bit while we gave a few more furniture stores a try.  All I wanted in my recliner was brown, easy spill maintenance (fake leather or microfiber), rocking, and soft hug-me comfort.  Sara wanted a chaise rocker. We went to Ashley first, then Weekends Only.  I really hate going into Weekends Only, those sales people are like evil vultures.  Last time we were their this guy stalked us, we told him we were just looking, and when we were ready to buy something he wasn’t any where in sight so we found someone who was available and not creepy.  This creepy guy’s sonar went off from across the showroom floor as the sales woman was filling out our paperwork he came from out of nowhere and started yelling at her about stealing his customer right in front of us.  We made mention of how inappropriate and unprofessional he was from the beginning as we were filling out paper work. He continued to get irate in front of his manager.  So I get super nervous every time I go in that store.   Luckily this time it was crowded and the customer to sales associate ratio was 5 customers to 1 sales person.  The selection of recliners was 4 times that of Ashley.   Then there it was… a brown, microfiber, hugging, rocking, chaise recliner.  It was love at first sit.  Sara gave it a try, it was heavenly.  It took awhile, but we were able to find a sales associate and it was meant to be, only one left in the warehouse besides the floor model.  A quick call to Sara’s dad to see if we could borrow the truck and it was purchased, picked up, and hauled up the stairs in our home.  I was so proud of Sara for helping me get it nestled into it’s spot.  Not only do I love the chair, but Jackson loves it too.  He watches his Mickey Mouse Club House while rocking back in forth for 30 minutes or more.  It has been a wonderful addition to the family.  The rest of the weekend we were all so exhausted.  Jackson is finally over the day light savings hump and sleeping his normal schedule.  We even got a family nap in on Sunday. 

Jackson enjoying the stage

This past week has been full of events.  Tuesday night we went to have milk and cookies with Santa hosted by TouchPoint.  We went last year shortly following Jackson’s diagnosis of PDD-NOS. The event has face painting, a comic magician, a balloon animal/character artist, Christmas carolers, plenty of milk and cookies, and Santa.  Last year we had melt down issues when waiting in line for Santa, but we managed to get Jackson on his lap.  This year we knew it would be difficult.  We brought the portable DVD player loaded with Mickey Mouse Club House and plenty of Jackson’s favorite treats.  We were early this year hoping to get a good jump in line, only this year as we got in line they changed it and decided to call the children up by table.  So we went from 4^th in line, to back at our table waiting patiently.  The line kept getting longer and they stopped calling tables at some point. There was little boy at our table that was having some major sensory issues and his mom was doing such an amazing job calming him.  We asked him if he wanted to share the Mickey Mouse Club House movie, but he wasn’t very interested in that.  He was much older than Jackson, so maybe not his cup of tea.  His mom sat with him like we did with Jackson as his dad took his sisters to the line.  I thought I would take Jackson over to the open area and let him run, but he was obsessed with the stage that was set up that had pre-decorated theme Christmas trees for the Autism fundraiser which was the next day.  I let him go up and down the stairs, but feared him bolting to one the trees and knocking it over. A volunteer came over to say hi to us.  She was in love with Jackson.  Come to find out she works in the play room at TouchPoint and started working a few weeks after we went through the parent training program. Jackson was pulling my hair a lot while we were talking.   The volunteer leaned in too close to Jackson and he swiped off her glasses.  As I was saying sorry she said not to worry she was used to that.  It is nice to be able to go out in public and not have to worry about explaining that your son has some impulsive behaviors.  Sara came over to us and we took him to mingle with some of the other kids.  He wasn’t interested in them, but the DVD player was working well.  We went back to the table and I left for a few moments to go get some more cookies.  When I came back, Jackson was pulling Sara’s hair and a volunteer was helping her.  Jackson did not like that I walked away from the table.  The volunteer was able help free Sara’s hair from his hands.  As Sara was thanking the volunteer Sara said, “I don’t think we are going to be able to make it to see Santa.”  With that the volunteer walked away and returned with a gift for Jackson. I almost cried.  He got a Teddy Bear that when you squeeze the hand the cheeks and belly light up.  He loved it and started giving it kisses right way.  He was getting really tired, so we left the event shortly after.  Hair pulling aside, Jackson was all smiles and seemed to really enjoy the event, we did too.

Friday night we went to a fundraiser “Holiday Lights of Love Gala” hosted by Action for Autism featuring special holiday performances by the children of Howard Park Center (Jackson’s school) and the American School.  The world-renowned artist Jesse Barnes was at the event and auctioned off several of his amazing paintings.  There were raffles and silent auctions throughout the event.  The night started off with the children performing before dinner was served.  I brought my video camera hoping to be able capture Jackson’s theatrical debut.  Since Jackson was performing, we received free tickets, so our table was at the back of the room, but that just meant I could stand and film.  All I can say is that Jackson completely stole the show.  His little learners class, which consists 2 year olds of half typical and half with special needs, was by far the cutest of the evening.  I wish I would have had my Tripod, so I apologize for my amateur shaky video.  I am also upset that in the middle of the performance the camera picked up on something else to focus on besides the children, but I was able to get it back in a few seconds.  All of the other video I took that night did not have the blur out problem, so I blame the Hamilton Black Cloud of luck.  Either way I was able to capture some amazing footage.  Jackson was not intimidated by the 100 plus people staring up at the stage.  He shook his bells without throwing them, well until it was over at least.  He smiled, he laughed, he danced, and most importantly he truly had a blast. He even made the crowd giggle at one point.  Jackson absolutely loved the stage.  Not that it makes any difference, but all the children that were on stage with Jackson were his typical peers, he was the only one with special needs.  Jackson did so well and I couldn't be more proud.  When all the performances were finished all the children handed out ornaments they made in class to all the attendees.  Jackson’s teacher stopped by our table with him in tote and he could care less that we were there.  He was trying to get her to take him back to the stage.  It warms my heart to see my son taking after his mother’s love for the stage and theater arts. Until Friday night, I was not ready for Christmas at all, but Jackson has definitely put me in the spirit.

These are a few of his favorite things…

I am happy to report that Jackson has been doing much better on his new medicine, Trazodone. He has been on it for a little over a week and so far it has helped him get sleep and sleep throughout the evening.  We have also noticed it help prevent the constant head banging, although he will still bang his head on occasion usually when he isn’t getting his way. The other things we noticed are he is back to his happy morning self, his appetite is back, and he isn’t crabby all day.   His therapists have noticed a difference too, he is more focused during his sessions. Today is National Fragile X awareness day so I thought I would take this time to share some of Jackson’s favorite things.

Jackson loves to play catch with me on the stairs.  I have been throwing a ball at him since he was able to hold himself up in his bouncy contraption. He is starting to get really good at catching. We have all kinds of various balls for him, his favorite lights up as it bounces. He will sit at the top of stairs and toss the ball down to me. His loves to watch the ball bounce on each step to which I make silly sound effect noises. Then I toss the ball back up to him.  It is so fun to watch.

Jackson also loves to watch Mickey Mouse Club House and Baby Einstein.  They are on forever repeat in our house, even though he might only watch 10 -15 minutes at a time.  He has always loved the Hot Dog song and dance, to which he recently started dancing along to.  With the Baby Einstein videos his favorite toys to watch are the toys with balls or any spinny things.  Recently he started noticing the wind up robots and when they are on he starts walking around like them. He also loves it when any of the Einstein kids are on. He just loves people…

Jackson is a huge fan of the swing. We installed a bar in his doorway to his bedroom several months ago and when he seems to be having a hard time swinging will calm him down. Last weekend I put together an outdoor swing-set and our little man is obsessed with it. Unfortunately St. Louis has been under a heat advisory since the day I put it up and if the humidity doesn’t get to you the mosquitoes might just carry you off.  Jackson doesn’t seem to mind the heat one bit. He loves to ride in his radio flyer, stroller, or Cozy Coup. You can walk him forever in those things. The neighbors love to see him as much as he loves to see them.  He will wave and flap his hands in excitement.  When I get home from work I usually take him for a walk and sometimes after dinner. Lately with the heat we are only getting one walk in. His other outdoor favorite is the pool.  Jackson loves the water and luckily Memaw Hamilton has a big pool that we can all get in. This love for water is great because we have no problems with bath time, except for the crazy splashing. Be prepared to be soaked if you ever have to give my son a bath..

Jackson could watch you push a vacuum for hours. Lately though just pushing it around isn’t enough, he has to have it on.  He has figured out that the cord has to be plugged in, thank goodness for those plastic covers.  We bought Jackson a mini-Dyson of his own for Christmas, but he prefers if you push it and not him. He is a smart child…

Jackson likes to watch people come and go from our house. I don’t know what it is, but he loves to watch people through the window. If a car goes by and he hears it, at the window you will find him.  The neighbors across the street like coming home to see him knocking on the windows and waving away. You can see his big smile from across the street. It brings me great joy to see this every morning when I leave for work and when I come home. Speaking of cars, he has this awesome Fisher Price Speedway toy. The center of the floor spins and it has special cars that go on it. It has a ramp the cars go down into the center and the cars go around and around till they shoot through the finish line.  It is a very loud toy, but he loves it. He has perfected balancing the cars on their rear bumper while the floor is spinning. I can’t even balance them on a flat surface. 

Jackson loves music. He will pick a favorite song and want to listen to it over and over. Right now the favorite song is “If you are happy and you know it…”.  He is also a big fan of the “Farmer and the Dell” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. I am not the vocalist of the house, but since he was born I have sang him to sleep.

Parenting Oye Vey

This past Friday afternoon I was just about to walk away from my desk to grab my lunch when my phone rang, it was Sara. When I answered the phone, it took her awhile to make words, with sniffling and that breath I knew something was wrong and the words that came out made my stomach drop quickly. "It's Jackson....he's not doing well, somethings wrong...he's not responding." Those were the first words. I calmly tried to ask for more details. "He was napping, we at parents, I heard a strange noise, he was vomiting, but was laying down, his eyes are pin points, called doctor, they said call 911." Deep breath on my end, calmly ask where is your mom. "She's gone, dad is here, dad feel his head...  keep it up..  I don't know what to do." Is an ambulance on it's way? "Yes, should be here soon...I am scared, I don't know what I am supposed to do, dad...is he breathing?" What hospital are you going to take him? "Should we St. Clair, or Children's? St. Clair is closer..." I answer with let's wait for the paramedics to get there, St. Clair doesn't have a pediatrics, they will ask you where you want to go, we want Childrens.. Tricia did not have a good experience at St. Clair, don't worry about how close...  Is Jackson awake? "He is drifting in and out, I don't know what to do..." It will be OK honey, just try to be calm. What did you guys do before you went to your parents? Did he bang his head at all today? "We went to the gym, they came and got me, he was crying and when he saw me he went and banged his head, but not any harder than normal." OK, well maybe it was on the right spot and he has a concussion or something, but everything will be OK. "I think they are almost here, I will call you to tell you what hospital, I love you." I love you too...  

Inside I am freaking out, but I am still at work and need to let my boss know. My team lead is online, I shoot her a quick chat to let her know I have an emergency and I send an email to the boss to let him know I have left the building. I text Sara to let her know I am on my way to the car, call my cell phone and not my work phone. I have a 5-10 minute walk to the car, but to honest I think it only took me 2 minutes. Get in the car, drive out of the garage, pull over and waited for the call. Sara calls not too long after that, "We are going to Children's, my phone isn't working well, I will see you there." Children's is not far from my work, but far from where the ambulance is coming from.  I am still freaking out inside and stay calm on the outside. As I am pulling into Children's phone rings and it is Sara's dad. "Jackson is OK, but it is good that he going to the hospital. He isn't acting himself, but don't worry everything will be OK." I answered back, that is good to hear I am at the hospital now. "Sinky is on her way, but the ambulance will probably get there first, she was running errands in South County." I answered, well I hope she don't try to rush, I am sure everything will be fine. "Yeah, everything will be fine, I will let you go know, call me when you can give me an update."  Will do I say as I pull into the parking garage. 

Why is it when you are in a hurry at a hospital, you can't find a spot? Also you pass like 5 potential spots, but the a-hole has taken up two spots because they can't park...  I would get a ticket or towed if parked that way, but anyway, finally a spot I can fit in on the 5th floor.  The ER at Children's is on floor one and even though I am sure I have arrived before the family, I am in a hurry. Go through security, check in at front desk. They say the ambulance should be here in 6 minutes, I can wait by the windows and watch them pull in. I am nervous as all get out as I look out the window and see my mother-in-laws car fly into the garage. Somehow I  knew she would get there before the ambulance. LOL!

Before she walks to the ER two ambulances pull into the garage.  My heart is jumping out of my chest. Sinky checks in at the front desk and rushes over to me. I let her know they just pulled in. She has a look of utter panic on her face. We discuss the bits and pieces we have been told. "Gosh I hope everything is OK." I assure her that everything is fine and that if things weren't the paramedics wouldn't have left and they pulled in without lights or the sirens blaring. Finally here comes Sara and Jackson. Sara looks scared, but is doing really well all things considering. They have to check in at the nurses station and I finally see Jackson's face. He sees me, quick little smile, but he doesn't look like himself. Sara signals me over as we go into the nurses station and she answers all the questions. I am holding Jackson and he is really lethargic. Nurse takes his temp, it is 99 under the arm. Nurse hands us some Motrin and asks more questions. I am not hearing her exchange with Sara, it was like the school teacher in Peanuts cartoon. Nurse take vitals, weight, helps with Motrin and gives us a pager, has us take a seat in the waiting area. Jackson is cuddled in Sara's arms as Sara answers Sinky's questions. 

Someone comes and gets us and takes us back to a room. Sinky is still asking Sara questions and a nurse practitioner comes in. More questions, Jackson is wanting to sleep, uncomfortable, and fussy. He will not let us put him on the bed or in a gown. Nurse practitioner lady says, don't worry about the gown...just take his clothes off down to his diaper, I will be right back to examine him. This always has always puzzled me why doctors or nurses leave the room. They are going to see you in the buff anyway, lets just save some time and I will strip down while you ask me more questions. Right! Any way, back she comes...  Jackson is staring to look a little better, but wants to sleep. Nurse pract. lady examines Jackson in Sara's lap and asks a bunch of questions. He is crying a lot, but not because of what the nurse is doing, just because he doesn't like her in the room with us as she learned the first time she was in. She is thinking something stomach viral, without the diarrhea, not ruling out a head injury at this point. She is not worried about dehydration, he has been drooling this entire time. She thinks we should try seeing if Jackson can keep liquids down first, then if he doesn't keep them down or doesn't improve, then we can try CAT scan. She is going to have the attending doctor on staff come down and discuss the options. 

Jackson starts to sleep after the nurse practitioner leaves the room. Then the doctor and nurse practitioner come into the room. The doctor listens to the nurse and asks a few more questions. He kind of walks around the room a little bit and observes Jackson as he doing so. He says he doesn't think it is meningitis or anything serious, understands our concerns with the possible headbanging, and suggests we try some Zofran first and give him some liquids. If he doesn't hold that down, then we go for a CAT, but that it is up to us what we want to do. To this the nurse practitioner adds that what she would do in our situation...  and that CAT scan...blah blah radiation... blah blah. Sara asks how do they do a CAT on a toddler that doesn't sit still. The doctor says they will strap them down,strap the head, and it is real quick the hardest part is the strapping down. I think that was all he had to say, but Sara still looked at me, "What should we do?" I say lets try the Zofran first. To that a nurse shows up with the dissolving magic pill. Jackson wants nothing to do with it, but we get him to finally take it. 

Sara's mom calls her dad to let him know what is going on. Sara calls the FX doctor's office. We wait.. 30 minutes later comes the melting Popsicle in Powerade.  Jackson wants nothing to do with it, so the nurse practitioner leave it with us. We try a few more times and he is turning it away, he is super uncomfortable and fussing. We try the TV, but even with 13 children stations, nothing is getting his attention, where is Mickey Mouse Club House when you need it most. Nurse lady comes back in, still not taking it we tell her. She asks if we have something he will eat. Sara whips out a Go-Go Squeeze (a genius squeezable apple sauce) and Goldfish. Nurse says, only let him have just a 1/4 of the applesauce, Jackson starts sucking on it quickly and Sara has to pull it from his lips. We give him a few crackers and wait. After 30 minutes and no more puking later, nurse practitioner checks in. She is thinking he is doing better, as we are all at this point. Fever seems to be gone. Talks about letting us go home and what we should do if he starts vomiting a lot. Sara isn't too sure, she saw him at his worst, but the nurse pract. gives us some more words of comfort and says we can stay as long as we want, suggests following up with our pediatrician in the morning if they have office hours.. Jackson on the other hand is ready to go, he is giving us the bye bye sign, trying to walk out of the room. After a few more minutes we decide we can go, if we need to we can come back or go see Jackson's doctor in the morning. Nurse practitioner gives us paper work and instructions, we are on our way home. Jackson is looking so much better, he of course wants to eat a bunch, but we have to go slow with that.

We make it all the way home and Jackson doesn't get sick any more that night. On the way home the patrician's office calls to check up on us. We also get a call back from the FX doctor who is ready to switch his medication to help with sleep. We give him some Motrin before bed and have our same going to bed staying asleep troubles. It was a weekend full of fevers and a few more vomits (time to get rid of couch). A visit with our pediatrician was good, reassures we did the right thing because of the lack of response. She tells us she has had a few patients with same fever and stomach issues as Jackson the last few weeks. 

Today I can report no fever and no vomit, back to normal self.